As the rest of the world gets lonelier are we suffering the same fate here in Metro Detroit?
An increasingly isolated world isn’t just a hot take from me. The data paints an equally fragmented reality for Americans. We spend more time at home than ever before, not engaging with our friends and neighbors — and that starts at a young age.
It’s meant more depression, less conversation, and an increasingly irritable crowd when we venture out into the world.
There have been many think pieces written about it, but Derek Thompson of The Atlantic nailed it back in January with his piece “The Anti-Social Century,” drawing on data going all the way back to the 1960s.
And while it’s hard to find specific numbers for metro Detroit, it’s clear we’re not immune. Especially in a sprawling suburban area that’s car-centric, designed around destinations versus the wandering journey of getting there, wherever there might be.
Which brings me to “the third place” — another buzzed-about term.
The third place, meaning not work, not home — but a place where we meet, drink, eat, socialize, see one another, fraternize with strangers, and build human bonds with others who aren’t like us and don’t form echo chambers of what we already believe.
That could be a bar or spaces like Spot Lite and Cafe Sous Terre in Detroit, which are cafés by day and transition beautifully into music venues and cocktail bars by evening.
It could be a truly altruistic spot that doesn’t cost you anything, like the Belle Isle conservatory, which is free and reopened late last year after a two-year, $10 million renovation of its gorgeous glass dome. What a beautiful way to transition into spring!
Or maybe it’s spaces like the Cranbrook Art Museum and the Detroit Institute of Arts. I’ve found solace in these places — a sense of escapism among art, if you will — but they are also well-designed social spots built for people to interact over coffee or on a bench taking in the artwork on display.
These are just a few examples of how our thriving arts scene can be a source of connection, a third place that we need in between our work lives and our increasingly private lives to meet up with friends or meet someone new entirely.
And that’s the key. While we’re getting lonelier, we’re also starved for attention. That’s probably why so many of us have turned to social media to get validation.
The places I mentioned are built for people to connect, but we’ve got to be willing to make that connection. If you’re not brave enough to strike up a convo with a stranger, ask yourself: When is the last time I reached out to that friend? That family member? That acquaintance I’ve amily member? That acquaintance I’ve wanted to spend more time with?
It feels like a risk of rejection to put yourself out there, but the data doesn’t lie. We’re at a point where we need to take that leap. I promise ya that they’ll be happy to hear from you.
And while the country overall gets a bit more isolated, let’s remember we’ve got the spaces, events, and culture to find common ground … and connect with our fellow metro Detroiters.
Ryan Patrick Hooper is the host of In the Groove on 101.9 WDET, Detroit’s NPR station (weekdays from noon to 3 p.m.).
This story originally appeared in the March 2025 issue of Hour Detroit magazine. To read more, pick up a copy of Hour Detroit at a local retail outlet. Our digital edition will be available on March. 10
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