Just like a family Thanksgiving, Friendsgiving comes with its own rituals, lore, and squabbles. My Friendsgiving group is no different. 2016 will forever be the year of the Great Turkey Drop — the result of a few too many glasses of pinot and one careless moment.
Exactly how it happened is a bit fuzzy in all of our minds, including those of the likely culprits. All we can agree on is that a fully cooked almost-whole turkey was placed atop the car while the sides and desserts were loaded in. And then … well, the car drove off, headed to The Painted Lady in Hamtramck to make T-Day deliveries to hardworking bar staff. The car left, the turkey remained, and Jen blames Dave and Dave blames Jen.
When you work in the bar industry, time off doesn’t always line up with traditional holidays. The night before Thanksgiving is notoriously the busiest bar night in America, which means most bartenders skip the parade in favor of sleeping in. So on the fourth Thursday of every November, my industry friends and I have established a loose tradition, which usually involves a late start, multiple turkeys and bottles of wine, some interesting cocktail pairings (see the cocktail recipe below), and at least one bar visit to spread turkey and love to those working.
In 2015, we hosted a record party and dished out five kinds of mashed potatoes at Tom’s Tavern, with DJ Dave Lawson’s food-themed playlist and Ron’s special chili. The following year, it was all about bringing Andrea and Anne some fixings at The Painted Lady while they tended to the masses without a family dinner to attend. From there, we’ve shared the joy with friends at Hazel Park’s Eastern Palace Club, Tocororo in Eastern Market, and, last year, Hamtramck’s High Dive.
Ironically, the one year that we were all free was the year we couldn’t be together. Five years ago, COVID kept us apart physically, but we cooked our turkeys and mash and sweet potatoes together via an epic 12-hour open Zoom call. This (and the online wine tasting) led to an outbreak of silly hats.
That’s the soul-warming thing about Friendsgiving. It’s not tied to a location or even one group of friends or relatives. It’s about breaking bread and sharing a cup of cheer with people who get you. It’s about being open to new friends, new places, and new traditions, so long as they’re forged together.
Over the last 10 years, I’ve learned to cede the turkey cooking to Dave Provich, who is eminently more qualified and owns Tocororo with Connor, who definitely makes a better rum punch than I do. I’ve happily relegated myself to potato and wine duties, both of which I’m proud to say I excel at.
Thanksgiving is the one great secular American holiday. It’s also the one most about food and togetherness. It’s a natural fit for a ragtag group of restaurant industry friends to gather and laugh, cry, and commiserate over heaping platters of food and overfilled cups of wine.
Friendsgiving is that and more, and anyone is welcome, place TBD. BYO pie; don’t worry about the turkey or the wine.
Carrot Cake Colada
A Friendsgiving drink from Tocororo’s Connor Grey Payne, this boozy and autumnal riff on the piña colada is best enjoyed with good company.
Ingredients
2 ounces Jamaican rum (Appleton Estate eight-year)
1 ounce carrot root liqueur (Apologue)
1 ½ ounces crème of coconut
½ ounce pineapple juice
½ ounce simple syrup
Directions
Shake and pour over ice or strain into a coupe glass. Top with Angostura bitters and orange peel.
This story originally appeared in the November 2025 issue of Hour Detroit magazine. To read more, pick up a copy of Hour Detroit at a local retail outlet. Click here to get our digital edition.
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