This isn’t a happy Valentine’s Day column. It’s not really for the heartbroken, either.
It’s for those with an appetite. Because Valentine’s Day rarely has me looking into the future. This year, it has me looking down at my plate as a bachelor writer about to turn 36.
It’s an age and time when I’m watching my friends become partners, become parents, and become increasingly hard-to-see fragments of their former selves off doing their own thing and building their own lives.
The rest is window-shopping. I’m looking at what they’ve got through glass. I’m welcome to come in and shop sometimes, but it will be on their terms with very boutique hours.
This holiday has made me think about other types of relationships in my life I value: Friendships. Family. A robust menu with rotating specials and coffee to go.
My longest romantic relationship with a human lasted five years. There were glorious moments. There were heartbreaking moments. We didn’t even move in together.
My longest relationship with a restaurant is closing in on 20. Those years have been spent sitting at the counter of The Fly Trap, a quirky diner on Woodward Avenue in Ferndale that serves up top-notch elevated diner fare. There have never been any heartbreaking moments here — just delicious ones. I truly love this place and the staff that makes it hum.
There are so many places that are too much or too little. Only for special occasions or too expensive to be a regular thing. But The Fly Trap is truly a ride-or-die daily cruiser.
I need a partner like that. Who refills the cup when it’s empty. Speaks to me in my love language of food. Picks up after me.
Our emerald anniversary, as restaurant and patron, is this year. In lieu of a gift, I think I’ll just order the biscuits with the jalapeño mushroom gravy, thanks.
As much as I can romanticize the feeling of bellying up to the counter by myself, there have been times when it’s been lonely. And I’m someone who does not mind eating alone or going out by myself.
Valentine’s Day has made me realize that it really isn’t the physical space itself that makes The Fly Trap a ride-or-die partner for me. It’s not the hot sauce, the scrambles, the specials, or anything else on the menu.
It’s the people who bring it to life, on both sides of the counter. I’ve felt great pride sharing this sacred space with someone — including some incredible partners. It’s like watching your favorite movie for the 75th time with someone who has never seen it. You get completely fresh eyes because you’re excited to watch it with them and introduce them to one of your favorite things.
It seems simple, but it’s something I’m just starting to sink my fork into. Now, if a partner comes along who doesn’t share the same palate for breakfast at any time of the day?
Table for one, please.
Ryan Patrick Hooper is the host of In the Groove on 101.9 WDET, Detroit’s NPR station (weekdays from noon to 3 p.m.).
This story originally appeared in the February 2025 issue of Hour Detroit magazine. To read more, pick up a copy of Hour Detroit at a local retail outlet. Our digital edition will be available on Feb. 10.
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