COTS creates opportunities for families to collaborate, thrive, and succeed in building strong and stable households, neighborhoods, and communities. Through partnerships, we assist families in reaching their housing, economic, health, education, and career goals as they overcome homelessness and break the cycle of poverty for the next generation and beyond.
COTS provides housing and support to more than 1,000 people daily through emergency shelter and affordable and supportive housing. More than 60 percent of those served are children. Understanding that poverty is the driver of homelessness, we established Passport To Self-Sufficiency™ (PTS), our theory of change for disrupting generational poverty that supports families in building stabilized environments to create a multi-generational impact.
While there are many threats to family stability, narratives are underestimated. The stories people make up about a family’s circumstance can be harmful and built upon bias. Narratives hold significant power in shaping our perception of others and our communities. Our narratives heavily influence our understanding of issues like poverty. Often, societal standards lead us to believe that individuals experiencing poverty are responsible for their situation or are victims of capitalism. However, these narratives limit our comprehension and fail to capture the complexities of poverty, and all its effects.
This limited understanding is not fair to those living the realities of poverty. Our tendency to create stories in our heads stems from our innate need to make sense of the world. We seek patterns and explanations, using storytelling to organize information and form a coherent understanding of those we encounter.
However, these stories often prey on stereotypes, biases, and preconceived notions, distorting our perception and perpetuating harmful narratives. These narratives act as barriers to empathy, preventing genuine connections and understanding. We must consciously challenge our assumptions and approach others with an open mind to overcome these limitations.
“Be curious, not judgmental.” Walt Whitman
Recognizing that the narratives we construct are often incomplete or biased, we must actively seek out diverse narratives and engage in dialogue with others–often different from our inner monologue. By letting go of judgment and listening to the experiences and stories of others, we gain a deeper understanding of their lives and the challenges they face.
Shifting from assumption to curiosity to build empathy is crucial. Rather than relying on outward appearances or societal stereotypes, we should approach others with care and genuine interest, asking open-ended questions and allowing them to share their experiences on their terms. By challenging and reevaluating the stories we create in our heads, we open ourselves up to the richness and reality of authentic human experiences.
COTS intentionally challenges harmful narratives surrounding poverty. We actively work to dismantle stigmatizing beliefs by amplifying the stories of individuals experiencing homelessness. We encourage active listening and motivational interviewing as powerful coaching tools to empower families. Through community events, The Art of Family stories and podcast discussions, COTS Fatherhood Initiative, and other engagement opportunities, we empower individuals to define their identities beyond their current circumstances. We support the exploration of their strengths and goals and encourage them to share their aspirations with the world.
We must recognize that some narratives can be hurtful and isolating and should strive to replace them with realistic “what-had-happened-was” stories. After understanding the impact of our made-up narratives, we can prioritize more open dialogue and ask questions that foster genuine connection and empathy to build stronger relationships with others. In doing so, we create space for creating authentic connections, develop more empathy and compassion, and build more inclusive communities based on shared humanity. To get to know some of COTS families, visit https://cotsdetroit.org/the-art-of-the-family/.
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