As a kid growing up in Detroit, Lori Tucker-Sullivan dreamed of writing about rock ’n’ roll.
And while she abandoned this dream in young adulthood, it came to fruition anyway with the recent release of her book I Can’t Remember If I Cried: Rock Widows on Life, Love, and Legacy.
The inspiration for the book came shortly after she lost her husband of 26 years to cancer.
She’d promised him that she’d finish her low-residency Kentucky-based MFA program no matter what, so early in her grief journey, she was driving back home to Dexter from Louisville when she heard a radio interview with Yoko Ono.
“Looking at all [Ono] had accomplished made me think, ‘There are so many musicians that have died young,’” Tucker-Sullivan says. “They must have left widows that were my age or younger when they lost their spouse.”
She started sleuthing online and quickly found many possible interview candidates.
“I initially prioritized the people that Kevin and I both really loved,” Tucker-Sullivan says. “So Warren Zevon went to the top of the list, and Harry Chapin and James Honeyman-Scott — we were both big Pretenders fans.”
Tucker-Sullivan started reaching out to these rockers’ partners — through social media, websites, and occasionally mail. To her surprise, many rock widows promptly said yes.
“I still can’t believe that no one had done this before, and that so often, no one had asked these women for their stories,” Tucker-Sullivan says. “They were all very interested in having the whole story out there for people to understand what they had gone through — the good and bad of these relationships.”
There were so many respondents, in fact, that Tucker-Sullivan would have a good start on a second volume, should that be in the cards, and she dreams of gathering the profiled rock widows together in one room to make a documentary film.
But for now, having moved back to Detroit, she’s taking in all her hometown has to offer.
“After Kevin passed away, it was the same time that Detroit was going through its bankruptcy, and I just thought, ‘This is the time to go back,’” Tucker-Sullivan says. “The two of us can start new together.”
This story originally appeared in the March 2025 issue of Hour Detroit magazine. To read more, pick up a copy of Hour Detroit at a local retail outlet. Our digital edition will be available on March 10.
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